The term "error-free soccer" is in itself an oxy-moron.
The beauty of the game is that it is absolutely impossible to play perfectly in a match. The world’s greatest players — Pele, Maradonna, Eusebio, Zidane, Ronaldhino, Platini, Di Stefano, Cruyff, Baresi, Beckenbauer, Charlton, Banks etc — have never played perfectly in a single match.
Football mirrors life and in life not even Jesus Christ himself was perfect.
The term "error-free soccer," is reported to have been coined by a Trinbagonian named Kent Welch.
Who?
In an article dated March 3, Welch is described as a "Trinidad soccer coach based in Florida."
It is obvious that he has been based in Florida for too long, because in T&T we refer to this beautiful game as football. However after reading Mr Brewster’s article — "Nakhid is A WASTE OF TIME – WELCH!" — I am fully convinced that he is in fact the author of the ridiculous term, "Error-free soccer." Simply because no clear-thinking individual in possession of all his faculties, would ever conceive and/or perceive that phrase to have meaning.
Let me first deal with the headline, which was simply extracted from the text of the interview. "Nakhid is a waste of time." Dear Mr Welch, David Nakhid, the first-ever Trinbagonian professional footballer to ply his trade in Europe, a professional footballer for more than 18 years and a former T&T national skipper who epitomises discipline, hard-work, perseverance, intelligence, independence and skill, could never in a million years be a waste of time.
On the other hand, sir, we know not who you are. Please furnish me with a complete history of your accomplishments and service to our beloved country. If your resume in any way compares to the sacrifices and effort made by David Nakhid for this country, I will be the first to apologise.
Now, let me dissect the interview: Welch states that, "Error-free soccer is not something a player inherits. He has to be drilled and taught for weeks and then it takes about nine months before it becomes a way of life for him."
Well, if Mr Welch can get 11 people of varying abilities, personalities and mindsets to play error-free football in nine months, then I think he should not be applying for the job of head coach of the El Dorado Senior Comprehensive School’s team, he should apply to replace Jesus in the Bible.
Secondly, sir, when/if ever you actually achieve a lot, there will certainly be no need for you to say so yourself, people will be aware. As for now, we have no idea of who you are.
Everyone makes mistakes, mistakes have to be tolerated in some way, or else the coach would run out of players. One basic tenet of coaching is the creation of perceivable, realistic goals. Error-free soccer (football) is an impossibility.
Welch tries to persuade us of his undiscovered genius. He states: "I offered my assistance to Bertille; now it is up to him to call me. I know I can help fix that midfield problem with my system, because it WORKS.
“Let me give you another example: Last weekend I loaned two of my players to another club to play in a showcase tournament in Jacksonville, Florida, USA. The players were my youngest son, Bradley (Welch), the midfielder and one of my strikers Michael Marin. And you know what? They helped the team to play my system and they were so successful that the team made it to the finals, only to lose on penalty kicks.
Just imagine that on such short notice they were able to use the system successfully."
No, Spalkspeople — the quotation is not a misprint; that is exactly what Mr Welch said.
Firstly, in the space of one interview, Mr Welch contradicts himself without shame. Initially he states, that this novel system necessitates the player being taught and drilled for weeks before he fully comprehends and then it takes about nine months before it becomes a way of life for him.
Then, in the next breath, he says that his son and a friend got unfamiliar players to adopt the system in mere days.
Secondly, would Welch like us to believe that his son and another player invited to appear in someone else’s team, simply usurped the authority of the coaches, the captain and the other players to implement their style of play on a foreign team.
Furthermore, Mr Welch, why wasn’t your entire team invited to this "showcase" event in Jacksonville and exactly what level of football are we speaking about — MLS, A League, Colleges, State Championship, High School, Regional, District or YMCA, age group?
Finally, if we were to take you at your word, the players who missed penalty kicks would not be able to continue to play under your guidance. I sincerely hope that Bradley did not miss his penalty.
I am sure that Zico, Socrates, Beckham, Platini, Baggio, Nakhid, Ronaldinho, Raul and Ronaldo (all of whom missed major penalties in huge games) are quite upset over the fact that they would no longer be able to play under your "Error-Free Soccer System."
In fact, all of these players and every footballer on the planet is disqualified from your system because they all have made, and continue to make, bad passes, mistrapped balls, shirked defensive responsibilities, mis-timed headers, mis-timed runs etc.
Mr Welch claims that he was in the Oval on Ash Wednesday. I will not bother to analyse his comments on the match, as it is impossible to analyse nonsense. However, I will point out some rather unfortunate statements credited to Mr Welch.
1. "The man for the crucial midfield position is not even Dwight Yorke, because he does not have that type of touch suited for a midfielder." Whaat! So what you are saying, sir, is that a midfielder in your system must not have a sublime touch. He must not be able to control the ball and turn, quickly with any part of his body in any direction. For your information, Dwight Yorke is in the top five players of all time in T&T with regard to control and touch.
2. After describing Angus Eve’s goal as a “fluke,” which would only score on Casey Keller one out a thousand times. Welch goes on to say: "After all, if you do not shoot, how would you know if you are going to score?"
If this does not go down in history as one of the most mind-numbing, idiotic statements ever made, I give up on humanity right now. Mr Welch…..If you don’t shoot, you are 100 per cent certain that you will not score.
3. Mr Welch ends the interview by stating: "Again, I am 100 per cent Trinidadian and I want to help in any capacity."
No thank you, sir, because the rest of us are 100 per cent TRINBAGONIAN.
(PS: Stop begging for a job in the media; send your resume to the T&TFF – if you are really so good, I am sure they will hire you.
I must confess that I have saved the best for last. Many of the readers must be thinking, "Boy why did Anil take off in this man skin so, What he do him? Well, here it comes……
Mr Welch begins his interview with the following statement: "I hate saying I told you so, but I certainly did. David Nakhid is not the answer to our midfield problem and it was evident in the T&T vs USA match on Ash Wednesday, which ended in a 2-1 win for the Americans. IT WAS A WASTE OF TIME TO HAVE NAKHID ON THE FIELD!"
People, this man is truly a clown or a liar. Nakhid was not even on the team sheet. He sat on the bench in his coach’s uniform all game. Yet this man chooses to call him a waste of TIME. Mr Welch, please do not waste any more precious space in our daily newspapers with your false statements. You have disqualified yourself from ever coaching in T&T because intelligence and good eyesight are two critical characteristics.