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Germany won't know what hit it when the Trinis come to town.


I once had a college professor tell me I was deviant because I sort of came from Trinidad and Tobago. He was looking for some random country to demonstrate his point about methods of political research and he figured that nobody in his Paris classroom would be from T&T.

I figured that pointing out that I wasn’t really from Trinidad but had lived there would only make me more deviant, so I let it go. The point though is you’ll always find a Trinbagonian where you’re not looking for him. In the middle of the havoc caused by New York’s metro workers being on strike, for example.

Why should next year’s World Cup be any exception? Trinidad and Tobago have qualified for their first ever World Cup and the team and its fans will be looking to invade Germany en masse armed with steel pans, soca music and they’ll even mix their own drinks. Never mind that stuff they make in Munich, a beer is a Carib after all...

It may be a tiny country, but it does not lack personality (must be some variation of the Napoleonic complex) and if you didn’t know it before, you will soon.

But let’s get down to the business. Forget about samba football, it’s soca soccer that will have people talking next summer. Anyone who thinks that Trinidad are going to Germany to do a bit of sightseeing and give lip service about "it’s just nice to be here" is mistaken.

Besides who in their right mind would leave a Caribbean island to go to Germany on vacation? I mean no offense to Germany, but even their own citizens don’t holiday there, why would any one else?

No, Trinidad has got serious plans for their second favorite past time while they are guests of the Kaiser (nickname of Franz Beckenbauer, former German international and President of the World Cup Organizing Committee). They will be looking to create bacchanal and if they have their way, said bacchanal will be to the detriment of England.

Ah yes, this match will be just one of three in the first round of the World Cup that pits former colony against former colonizer. Trinidad for their part would love to imitate Senegal’s performance in the last World Cup by giving their ex colonial masters what for on the pitch.

The English, from what I hear across the channel, are convinced that all they will have to do to take three points from their game against Trinidad is show up. There is no denying that the French in me, encouraged by the adopted Trini that lurks in my psyche, would relish seeing the Brits taken down a peg or five but that’s not the reason I that I think it could actually happen.

A considerable amount has been invested into this Trinidad and Tobago side. They’ve a Dutch manager, Leo Beenhakker, (and if the Dutch don’t know football then the sky is green) and several experienced players that have had spells in British football. The most notable case is obviously, Dwight Yorke, who was part of the Treble winning Manchester United side.

They’ve got nothing to lose, where as there is an enormous amount of pressure on this England side to do well. It’s been said that this is the best generation of players that England have had in a long time and there is no denying their potential.

Until the draw, I’d been telling everyone who would listen how silly I thought England were being by sticking to their traditional 4-4-2 system and couldn’t their coach Sven Goran Eriksson see that in that system, it was impossible to get the best out of both Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard.

There was nothing altruistic about this. I cannot stand Frank Lampard and I’ve a bone to pick with Steven Gerrard about last seasons Champions League final against Milan, but they are both really good players and if you’re going to go through the bother of having them in your side, the least you could do is try to make the best of their talents.

Add to the Lampard/Gerrard issue the fact that England have more quality central defenders than they know what to do with (Terry, Campbell, Ferdinand, King…) and you have neon lights pointing to a 3-5-2 system. This would also solve England’s left footed problem by leaving the left wing open for Ashley Cole and eliminating the need for a natural leftie in midfield.

Having just told you all the reasons that England should change tactical systems, let me state my current position on the subject: LONG LIVE THE 4-4-2. It’s genius I say, let them have it. If England want to waste the talent in their team, we as accommodating Trini’s should roll out the red carpet, steel drums and all. They’ll figure out sooner or later that the only place it leads is over a cliff and out of the World Cup.

Meanwhile, the one mistake Trinidad and Tobago should not make is mixing up their priorities. The objective is to qualify for the next round. Beating England, while it would be nice, is secondary. To that end, and given that it will be their first match of the competition, Trinbagoinians should have all eyes on Sweden.

Now, I could go into the usual spiel about Scandanavian sides, discipline, physical, a bit of provocation here, a bit of conspiracy there (don’t even breathe the words Sweden or Denmark to an Italy supporter) but I won’t.

The reason being, I don’t really care about what Sweden are like as a team. I’ve only to look at three of their attacking players to know that they can cause trouble. Never mind the other players and whether or not I can pronounce their names, when you’ve got Freddie Ljungberg, Henrik Larsson and Zlatan Ibrahimovic on your side then I can assume two things.

One, the neutrals will be enjoying the show because those are three fantastic players and second, any defense coming up against them, not to mention the keeper had better be on their toes.

In ascending order of height, here’s what you need to know about these three Swedes. Freddie Ljungberg is a versatile attacking midfielder that can pop up on either wing and whose technical skills give him the option of staying out wide where he can cross or cutting back inside to take a shot.

He’s got a complete range of skills and pace to boot but by far the most important thing to know about Freddie (aside from the fact that he looked damn good in those Calvin Klein underwear ads) is that he is one of the luckiest players in Europe. And I mean that literally.

If a shot is going to take a deflection or go in off the post, it will be Freddie’s. If a defender makes a mistake or a keeper fumbles the ball, Freddie will be there to take advantage. It is uncanny.

Next, Henrik Larsson. He had a long and prolific spell at Scottish club, Celtic before moving to Barcelona. A serious knee injury had him out for much of last season and with Samuel Eto’o scoring up a storm, the Swede hasn’t exactly walked back into the side.

Still, his comeback from international retirement at Euro 2004 went well and there is no reason to think that if he takes part in next summer’s competition he won’t be among the top goal scorers. He’s got that innate sense of goal, the ability to know at all times exactly where he is on the pitch in relation to the goal.

Lastly, Zlatan Ibrahimovic. His coach at Juventus, Fabio Capello says that he’s the next Van Basten. Capello would know since he coached Van Basten at Milan back in the ‘90s. I was skeptical at first, but I’m starting to believe it. It defies logic that someone of his height (1m 93 cm, roughly 6’3") should move with such agility and be so extraordinarily at ease with the ball at his feet.

More than that, it’s his unpredictability that makes him dangerous. Watching him, or playing against him for that matter I imagine, you never know what’s going to happen next. What’s more, you get the feeling he doesn’t either.

His strong points as mentioned are his athleticism and technique. He especially favors the outside of his right foot, more for aesthetic reasons that practical ones, I suspect. His main weakness though is his temper. A wily adversary might take advantage of this and to be certain, Sweden are a totally different proposition without Ibracadabra (aren’t the Italians clever with nicknames?) in the side.

So, three Swedes and a troop of Soca Warriors adds up to what? Well, according to my calculations, it adds up to Sweden and Trinidad and Tobago going through to the next round and dear oh dear, bye bye England’s roses.

The French in me, the Trini in me and the soccer purist in me are all satisfied with this particular scenario. To quote former French Prime Minister, Michel Rocard and address myself to our "charming but hypocritical friends across the Channel" -- Bloody bad luck, that chaps. Try it again in four years won‘t you?